"BE INTERESTED IN MY LIFE!"

Have you even been standing next to someone who is looking down at their phone then they suddenly burst into laughter because of a text they just got? Yeah, I can’t stand that.

It’s just a silly premise all together. Rarely are texts really “laugh out loud” funny, and if they are, you quietly smile to yourself or maybe just let out a little grunt. People, mainly young women, laugh out loud at text messages so what whoever is around them with ask them, “What’s so funny?” Girls live for this, because then they get to do the one thing they like to do the most: talk about themselves.

One of my favorite hobbies is to not respond to them when they giggle aloud at a personal message (which is what I suggest everyone should do). They go through this strange sequence of events: laugh, look up at you, laugh louder, look at you again, get very sad then put their phone away. It’s hilarious. It’s like yelling “TREAT!” at a dog to make them come inside, only to find they they’ve been tricked.

This is very similar to a girl trying on a dress with her friends then saying she looks fat in it (i.e. Mean Girls). They just want feedback on how beautiful they think they are, or how skinny. That, or they’re self-conscious, and really need that feedback.

That’s all for this week; that whole texting situation happens to me every few weeks and I never get to analyze the hilarity of it in words.

Sidenote: In reference to last week’s blog, directly after I wrote that I went to the dining hall. I was in the long line of hungry students waiting to serve themselves food when the girl in front of me answers her cell phone and proceeds to have a ten minute conversation, holding up the whole line… except me.

Dorrill Dining Hall Delirium

It feels like I should be writing about Kanye West like the rest of the free world, but I refuse.

Instead, let’s talk about Dorrill Dining Hall. This is a staple in almost every student’s life here at Longwood and we visit it everyday. The way you handle yourself in the dining hall says a lot about who you are, surprisingly enough. I’m here to analyze a few of the strange things I have witnessed.

First and foremost, why can’t anyone eat alone anymore? I hear “pleeeeease eat with meeee” at least three times a week either from one of my friends or I overhear it from someone else’s conversation. What is so horrible about eating by yourself? No one is going to judge you if you’re eating alone; maybe the first couple weeks of classes, but certainly not now. And if they do, why do they care about your dining preferences? If you are “forced” to eat by yourself, bring a book to read or notes to study while you eat. If you don’t want to study while you eat, just put an open book in front of you and shoot it concentrated glances every once in a while. Bring you iPod, too, of course.

The other thing that irks me is how people, mainly couples, sit next to each while eating instead of across from each other. That’s so weird to me. Are you that insecure with your relationship that you have to be that close to them at all times? Not to mention, at the cost of sitting closer to one another, you have to try to face them instead of looking directly at them with ease if you were across from them. Let it be known that there are some disclaimers for two people sitting next to each other: 1) there may be another person joining them, where in that case it would make sense to sit next to each other, or 2) you’re helping them something on a sheet of paper or in a book. Any other reason to sit directly next to your significant other in a booth or at a small table is clingy and strange.

My final point is when people walk and look for where they’re going to sit at the same time, but are unsuccessful. This is most common during breakfast because everyone is still tired from recently waking up. I’ve been run into numerous times by people looking beyond who’s in front of them to figure out where they’re going to sit; very annoying. When you roll out of bed in the morning, make sure all of your senses are working before you step out of your dorm room.

That’s it for this week.

Side note: Recently, whenever I’ve thrown something away in the outdoor campus trashcans, a swarm of at least seven hornets flies from it. Maybe that’s Longwood’s secret sustainability tactic to make kids recycle. 

Farmville Area Bus, Not Longwood Area Bus

 I dropped my phone in the toilet and it died on me; no response whatsoever to turning it on, turning it off, or plugging it into the charger. I bought it three weeks ago. So I got on the FAB at the stop closest to my dorm, flashed the driver my ID, and took my seat for my journey to the Walmart shopping center. There was only one other boy on the bus, and it was clear he had never ridden the FAB, or any other bus, before. He stuttered, "Uhh... uh... can you just drop me off here? I just went out for a couple things and I didn't intend to be on the bus this long..." The bus driver said "uh huh" and pulled up to the corner. The boy thanked him and rushed off the bus. I watched him as we drove away; he was just standing on the curb where we left him looking around confusedly. I was the only one on the bus now, considering it was only 3 in the afternoon. I cherish these times because generally the bus drivers are nice, conversational guys.

  The driver, let's call him "Lou", laughed under his breath. "He looked like he had no damn idea where he was going," I said. Lou chuckled and said, "Most of these kids don't know which way they're going around here." We then launched into a conversation about how most of these freshman have never even experienced urban transportation. I had this realization a few days ago when I was waiting with a group of kids for the bus. The driver, and the FAB website (that apparently no one utilizes), clearly states that the bus comes in intervals of thirty minutes. Add thirty to the time you were picked up/dropped off, or just ask yourself when the next half hour is. Regardless, you won't be sitting on a bench for days. If the bus is three minutes late these kids have a hernia. "Oh my gawd, where is the bus? It was supposed to be here three minutes ago..." 

 Here's a "step-out-of-yourself" experience opportunity; college is chock full of these. These men/women (though I have yet to see a female FAB driver) are making their living by driving around snot-nosed spoiled rotten college kids from suburbia. Don't you think they deserve a little slack? "Lou" told me that he and a colleague took over 300 freshman back and forth from campus on the first Saturday we were here. Can you imagine the hell and headaches he dealt with? Lou also told me that last weekend a couple kids fell asleep in the back of the bus, then were angry that Lou didn't wake them up when they got to Walmart. You've got to be kidding me, right? He said, "I'm not their babysitters, and I'm not responsible for their sleeping habits." And he couldn't be more right.

  All I'm saying is please be considerate of the community around you. Farmville is not Longwood, and Longwood is not Farmville. This bus service is not for you and you alone, it is the Farmville Area Bus. Be courteous of the drivers and their schedules, they don't work for you. We're lucky enough to have free bus faire.

They couldn't fix my phone, instead they tried to sell me one retail price; $400. Tricky bastards.

 

 

New Lancer Days: An Opportunity to Draw As Much Attention To Yourself As Possible?

On the evening of Saturday the 22nd, Jim Merkel opened up the discussion for questions about his book after a relatively long, yet humble, lecture about his book Radical Simplicity. Over two hundred minds in Jarman auditorium thought, "This is it! This is my time to shine!" Suddenly kids start coming out of the woodwork and approaching the mic. "Umm," one girl said, "I noticed that the first two chapters were really interesting, but then the book just became really repetitive..." 

Okay, let's stop here. Is that a question? No. Is that necessary? No. Is that polite to say to an adult, much less one who has been kind enough to take time out of his volunteer work to come to a bunch of college students who didn't even read his book? No. This girl was just looking for an opportunity to get up in front of the newly freshman class and make a name of herself. She will now be that girl that said that dumb comment at New Lancer Days. I was embarrassed for her. Then some other kid asked, "Well, uh, if you're only living off six grand a year, why did you raise 40,000 dollars for the bike lanes in your city?" Hmmm, well, he wasn't living off the bike lanes, was he? That money was raised for the city, not for Mr. Merkel. I praise Jim Merkel for not losing his cool, as I understand a situation very similar occurred last year. That shows great patience.

These kids are just gushing and grasping and screaming to make a spot for themselves in this community, but they're going about it the entirely wrong way. Girls were wearing heavy makeup and short skirts and I even saw boots. Okay, new Lancer Days is composed of sitting in Jarman for multiple hours of the day; what's the occasion, ladies? Boys were talking about "gittin' trashed" and being loud and obnoxious. What's the thought process there? "Dude, let's go to a party tonight and drink, even though freshmen are the only students on campus right now, which means we're all underage." It just doesn't make sense to me. These kids were just exploding with identity crises. I understand this is an opportunity to start over and all, a clean slate, but must we be so annoying?