Much-Needed Noisy Mint

There is always that person that absolutely, positively needs a Lifesavers mint in the middle of your psychology lecture, but why?

Why must you have that mint right this second? And why must you leave us all in suspense while you wrestle with it in your lap for ten minutes? There is no quiet way to open a snack in class, so just get it over with, quick and dirty. There are a few different variations of packaging and techniques for this situation:

1) The cheap plastic holding the small circular mint; needless to say the most annoying for being so small. In this instance, just open the damn thing. Rip off the corner and pop it in your mouth. Don’t try and split the seam open like a bag of Lays, just rip off the corner and be done with it. It makes the most awful crinkling noise.

2) The twisty-ended hard candy. For some reason people try and wriggle the candy out from where the two long sides of the wrapper meet. If this was the way you were supposed to open this candy, they wouldn’t have those convenient twisties at the ends. Just untwist them, maybe just one side (if that’s what you’re into), and eat it; very simple.

3) The god-forsaken chip bag. There is no easy way to open a chip bag. Somehow by pulling at both sides of the bag, the only real way to open it, causes this horrible squeaking noise. Why? No one knows. This is a snack that is just going to be annoying to those around you, but hey, you were willing to make that sacrifice for the delicious Cheetos inside.

Hopefully these pointers helped. Generally, it’s a good idea to just get something over with, whether it’s taking off a band-aid or eating a mint.

 

Sidenote: I was walking to the same building as a kid in front of me earlier today. I could tell he was repeatedly looking at me out of the very corner of his eye, and he even turned fully around a few times to grimace at me. Once we got to the building he almost literally ran to his classroom. Why would this kid think I was following him? Regardless, it was my morning hilarity. Probably my topic for next week; sidewalk traveling patterns and habits.